Why I "Teach for America"

Thursday 10:50 AM

I made it through my lessons – I also managed to get 4 hours of sleep last night. All in all, it’s been a pretty good day so far. It amazes me how much my moods or self-confidence fluctuate following a successful or abysmal lesson. Most of the time I feel that the kids aren’t learning anything. Usually, I feel completely out of control and like there is nothing that qualifies me to do this job. But occasionally, once in a blue moon, there are moments where I feel like this makes sense, that I can do this, that I can connect with and help the children in my classroom who need me. Again, it’s very rare – and maybe it’s that rarity that makes it so precious.

9:40 PM

So I made it through week two of teaching, one of my prouder accomplishments. When we got back at 5 PM, I took a glorious 2 hour nap (an “Achievement Nap” as they’re known in TFA circles), went to dinner, and have been bouncing around the dorms working on determining where I will be living come August 1^st. It’s hard to believe, but at the start of August I will need to find a new place to hang my hat, since St. John’s will be giving us the proverbial boot. I’ve gotten to know 5 guys pretty well and we are all interested in being roommates – the only catch is that, of the 6 of us, I am the only one who knows exactly where I will be teaching this fall. As I mentioned, a lot of people still don’t know where they will be placed yet, an added stressor that makes this whole experience so unique. More likely than not I will be playing the waiting game with them, living in a temporary spot for the month of August and then hopefully moving into somewhere more permanent come September. What a summer this has been and is still to be.

A few other things – my graduate program was moved from Hunter College to Fordham University based on my placement in a special education, charter school job. This is probably for the better, as I’m told Fordham is a very prestigious degree to hold. It will put me approximately $6,000 more in debt over the course of 2 years, but that’s okay – the more education the better, forget about the cost.

On that note, that’s one message I’ve really come to strongly internalize over the past week. I took a step back the other night, in between lesson plans 3 and 4 of the evening, and really came to appreciate how valuable my education (and if you’re reading this, most likely your education) is. Before coming to Summer Institute, I read a number of articles with horror stories about 8^th grade students with 3^rd grade reading levels, high school graduates who require at least 2 years of remediation before being able to contribute in college level classrooms, etc. But this past week, I did a group reading with 3 soon-to-be 8^th grade students using a 4^th grade chapter book and worked with them as they struggled through it. When you do that – when you stop every few minutes to define a word, or sound it out phonetically, or pause and struggle to summarize the contents of a paragraph – you realize that you’re in the presence of failure. That you are witnessing the results of a system, outside of the students’ control, that has already wreaked havoc on their lives. I truly believe that the kids I teach are no less able than I was or am to learn new things, acquire new skills and absorb new information. But for a slew of reasons they have been cheated out of the possibilities for their futures. As soon to be 8^th graders, they are at a critical developmental point in their lives; if they don’t accelerate academically over the next few years, their options, of landing a solid job in an increasingly global economy, studying abroad or seeing the world, are limited if not non-existent. To be candid - it suck ass to see that and to feel limited in your ability to help.

On the other end of this bummer of a situation, I begin to appreciate my mind – the way I think and perceive the world around me. Because of my vocabulary, I can articulate myself and identify particular emotions and sensations. Because of my critical thinking skills, I can read about the world, and make decisions on what is best for me, what I believe, what I think is a proper course of action. If I was a 24-year-old with a 6^th or 7^th grade education, as many young men around the country in neighborhoods similar to the Bronx might be, how would my life be different? It would be drastically different – I would be an entirely different person – my life less full, my being less refined. Perhaps what I’m writing right now is contentious, but I’ve begun to think that the more education someone has, the more they know and think, the more HUMAN they are. When we are uneducated, we are less articulate, less understanding, less critical and in turn, more primal. We are also weak in an age of information technology and global competition. I guess what I’m saying is that if we don’t give every one of our citizens a fair shot at success – an opportunity to learn in a safe and positive environment – we’re not living our ideals as a nation. I guess that’s why I “Teach for America”.

Closing Points

• ·       Use your education and take a moment to really appreciate it.
• ·       Never stop being curious.
• ·       Learn something new every day.
• ·       Help others.
• ·       Think of what you’ve been given and decide how you will give back – it is unquestionably your responsibility to do so.
• ·       Live for love. 

Quote of the Day: You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson