The Conclusion of Teaching Week 3
Wednesday, July 20th
11:21 AM – Right now I am sitting, reflecting on my lesson, as I play the role of student in a math specialty session. It’s not particularly useful to me at this time, since I am not a math teacher, plus I’m tired, but I sit here nonetheless. It’s possible I will be helping with math in the fall, so it’d be wise to tune in, but after another night of little sleep, less hours than you can count on your hand anyway, it tough to stay focused.
1:50 PM – It’s “Lesson Planning Clinic” time, basically a chance for me to flesh out the 4 lesson plans that I must send to my advisor by tomorrow morning. I’ll jump into this in a moment, but I need to take a second to breathe. I like to sit in my classroom when it’s empty – just me and the busy air conditioning unit humming steadily near the window. Every so often a loud tone will fill the room, seemingly at random; at some point a schedule for these tones was thought out and programmed to usher students from one class to the next. But on a July afternoon, in an empty classroom in the Bronx, the purpose has been lost, though the regularity remains. Like the busy beating of an A/C, it’s slightly annoying, slightly amusing, but all in all good company. I sound tired.
5:30 PM – This is the hardest part of the day. I just got back from school about ½ an hour ago, I’ve been up for over 12 hours, and I’m staring into the storm. I have to finalize one lesson plan for tomorrow including all materials / printing and copying (handouts for kids, quizzes, etc), I’m supposed to be at a Special Education lecture from 7:30 – 8:30 PM – and then I have 4 lesson plan rough drafts to write (1 is pretty much complete, 3 are partially complete at this time). If I can get to bed by midnight I’ll feel blessed. On an upside, my glasses finally arrived! Prior to leaving Denver, I tapped into my company dental and vision benefits, so I now have a trendy pair of Michael Kors frames perched atop my nose. New York Josh is a whole new person. Talk to you soon.
Thursday, July 21st
11:45 AM – Another week of classes gone by. I’m sitting in literacy right now – taking a deep breath after the end of another long week.
2:37 PM – Hanging out with my advisory group, a coalition of around 15 english language arts and history teachers, working on plans for next week (sort of) and mainly talking about our students. This is the part of the week where you tell yourself that you’re going to get ahead of the game and be productive so that next week will be a breeze – then reality sets in, you realize how tired you are, how happy you are that the week is winding down, and instead of being proactive, you jot down thoughts in your blog and procrastinate to the best of your ability.
Tonight we are reuniting with our induction groups, the first groups we met with at the start of June. Although that was only a few weeks ago, it feels like it’s been a lifetime since I first sat down in a TFA classroom.
9:25 PM – I got through the day, basically the week. It’s funny that Thursday nights feel like a weekend night, even though I have to wake up at 5:00 AM in the morning and go to classes all day. I guess it’s just the fact that I don’t have to teach, and that I don’t have much to plan this evening, that gives me the illusion of smooth sailing ahead.
This weekend is actually going to be a rough one. Aside from going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II, I have a lot of work to do. Next week, I will actually be leaving my classroom of 7 students and teaching 15 new students on Monday – Thursday. Reason being, their teacher (Renee, crazy talented) was hired by a charter school and has to attend a week of training for the fall. In her place, our advisor recommended I take over, as she feels I am a pretty strong teacher at this point, or so she says. Being my own worst critic, I can’t imagine this to be true – most of the time I feel like I am treading water, trying to keep my head above the surface, barely getting by as an educator. However, if they need me to take this role, I’m up for the challenge. This means I need to internalize her lesson plans, get to know their classroom behavior system and culture, and hopefully not end their summer school with a flop. I sat in on their class today and think I’ll be okay – but again, wish me luck if you have it to give.
Final Thoughts
All in all, I feel like I’m going to make it, for the most part. With 4 days left of summer school teaching, 3 days really considering next Thursday will mainly be a day of tests, I can safely say that I’m gonna get to the other end of institute in one piece (knock on wood). I also found out today that I have a place to live for the month of August in Brooklyn through a sublease with a friend of a friend (I’m waiting on a few other TFAers to find jobs before getting a more permanent apartment), so that anxiety storm has settled. At this point, I feel a swelling of appreciation.
I appreciate where I am right now and the courage it took to get me here. It baffles me that less than a month and a half ago I was working a consulting job in Denver and that today I am a teacher, albeit a pretty terrible one. Regardless, I have as much faith now as I ever have in the mission of Teach for America, and what I believe my mission is as a part of it. It’s a pretty awesome feeling when your actions align with your values, your career aligns with a bolder ambition, and you feel challenged, but capable. I suppose the feeling dwells somewhere along the spectrum of exhaustion and happiness – an almost dreamlike stupor of relentless effort, moderate amusement and internal contentment. Again, I probably sound more tired than thoughtful at this point – which is approximately where I expect I am supposed to be.
Good night,
Josh
Quote of the Day: "You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own...” - D.M. Dellinger
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